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Up Shit Creek, with James Arthur Ray

May 18, 2010

James Ray, the (alleged) triple manslaughterer, is continuing to spread his important spiritual teachings, while waiting for his trial to start in August.

James Ray practises his “going with the flow” skills while being arrested earlier this year. (He was released two weeks later, on reduced bail, after pleading poverty.)

Given the merciless pillorying his inane tweets are receiving from a large number of concerned citizens, James Ray seems to have decided that public appearances involving direct contact with real people (with real emotions, real grievances and real grief) may not be the best way to continue his career at the present time.

Also, he’s been banned from doing life threatening exercises, so that’s probably another reason – I mean, how can you share your spiritual teachings with people if you’re not allowed to put them in acute physical danger? Luckily though, the court didn’t say anything about placing people in acute psychological danger, so he’s delivering an internet radio show.

For a mere $25 a week, Death Ray will talk to you and try to encourage you to do to your life what he would if he could get close enough to cook, freeze, starve, dehydrate, humiliate, traumatise or sleep deprive you; to burn your feet, break your bones, feed you poison, to make you wet yourself, shit yourself, choke yourself, give you brain damage, organ failure, make you hysterical, psychotic, insane, emotionally broken or dead. (Just the normal stuff we all need to experience in order to grow spiritually.)

The course will include:

How to utilize adversities to create the life you desire…

It is no secret that James has been through difficult times lately, so he really knows about adversity. These are probably the techniques James will be using to create the life he desires if he is forced to change his address some time next year.

What true wealth really means—and how to have it immediately…

True wealth is not that kind of wealth that the investigators look for when setting your bail. True wealth is not the kind of wealth James’ lawyer was referring to when he said “James is not a wealthy man”. No. True wealth is something which you can have immediately if you are willing to pay $100 a month for the rest of your life and probably after.

The lessons, tools, and principles that your challenges teach you…

James is suddenly teaching a lot about challenges and adversity and problems…And yes, these challenges teach you tools!

How to overcome nagging fears and limitations once and for all…

Hmm…Nagging fears are also on the agenda. That’s good, so James has overcome his nagging fears too, (whatever they may have been).

And his limitations. Yes – James has overcome all his nagging fears and his limitations once and for all.

Oh, and by the way…you can listen to the live broadcast on your computer, cell or, telephone!

(Um, there seems to be a typo there, James. I think you mean “on your computer, in your cell, or on your telephone”.)

Ray’s title for this program is Living in the Flow.

Or as we say back home in Australia, up a well known tributary.

I give you my personal guarantee that James can really change your life. He has already changed so many.

***And of course it wouldn’t be a proper Death Ray offer without a money back guarantee, would it? That’s right folks! You can ask for a special trial period of one month, in which to decide whether or not it’s worth it! (Of course, after the month is up, that’s it. You are going to pay Death Ray $100 a month for an undisclosed period whether you like it or not, whether Death Ray is in prison or not, or whether or not you find yourself in the gutter. Now that’s commitment!)

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